Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
love makes seman taste better
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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