nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
