I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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