I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
