I can tuck mytits in my pants
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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