Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
