can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize