My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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