this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize