When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize