Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize