No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
