What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
