I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
