So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
