ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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