whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize