I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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