So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize