You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
