Im at strip club and am horny
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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