Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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