did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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