dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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