Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
