Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
