Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
