That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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