My first STD was from a foam party
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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