and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
third nipple confirmed
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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