Already got asked if we're dating
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
