just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
