OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
