he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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