I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
