so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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