Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
