talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
false alarm, still single
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
