Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
