you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
