FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize