ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
