butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
