That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
