? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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