I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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