k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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