Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
