it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
