YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
