that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
