I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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