Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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