So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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