I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my shit smells like andre
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
