i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My dick has a subreddit
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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