why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How external is "for external use only"?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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