I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
