so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
