I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
