I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
